The Madman's life

 Realities colide with fantisty. Thats my life. Just because you think all I do is lie, cheat and steel, while its true sometimes, thats not most the time. My life is spent enjoying people. The one thing I loved most about my last ex-wife, was the ability to live the joy of new adventures threw her. Having spent her whole life in the Inland Empire, IE. She never hiked the San Bernardino mountains. Swam in the Pacific ocean, only a thirty minutes drive. Every thing we did together was a new adventure.

 My relationship with God is great. I talk to him all day everyday. It doesnt bother me one bit if no one knows my thoughts or life. Its mine and Ive enjoyed a relationship with him for as long as Ive lived and understood. Hes been my best friend always. Thats the truth as small as it is. Thats my truth. I do everything else wrong as see by the world but out of it all at least I get to walk and talk with God if no one else.

 The small almond sits in the palm of my hand. An image of imediate death awates as I stare at it in disbileafe. 43 years of Hospital visits anrgcñ d anaflactic shock. The evidence of this little seads power over me. As the voice in my head speaking clearly " Eat the whole thing, youll be fine" my body waiting for the inebital truth of the moment.  Another had given me there leftovers a bag, a mixture of peanuts, corn nuts, banana chips and little did I know Almonds. The little brown nuts few and hidden amist the others. The dust alone enought to send me into anafilactic shock. A sole bottel of bynidrial Ive kept for 19 months hidden from others around me, my only safty net, locked away frome socioty and the world. The little food given to me by others a gift, a treasure, stale crackers they no longer want. Food delivered once a week to our prision cell from family and friends, I have none here in Colombia,  a country i loath. I sit there my back against the concrete wall...